Kozuri - water ninja story

I recently wrote a bio and story for a character called "Kozuri" who was created by Gameface101 for a card game project called "Thunderdome". Enjoy the read if you have time (which you won't, I know, but try).

Kozuri Bio
Kozuri story

Foul mood

I'm in that mood where anything anyone says directly or indirectly to me will irrationally aggravate me. Not even like, an annoying sibling talking to me. Maybe said sibling is talking to someone outside, but shouting. Maybe someone is opening my door to put something there. Maybe someone downstairs is calling me. It frustrates me sometimes. Of course, this is highly irrational and it's not something to want.
What isn't as irrational is when a sibling waltz's into your room and starts trying to talk to you and roll on your bed whilst simultaneously learning a dance routine from a kids show from Youtube. It's even worse when the sibling is discussing his/her insecurities such as "being a bad dancer" and "not being able to sing as good as Beyonce" or "I'm not built enough". What's even worse is that the sibling is your senior and is meant to be a fully capable member of society as a legal adult. No, sibling, I don't want to hear what you thought about how ugly you think you look (despite me reassuring them that they look fine many times) while I'm working and listening to music. It somehow makes it more annoying when I hear the voice of my sibling over the music. It manages to add a irritating noise that you are forced to listen to but you try to mute it out.
Please, it's called "personal space". If I want to be solo for a bit, just chill. I have stuff to do, you have stuff to do. Don't come into my room with that track record of yours.

Fan girls/boys

 I started writing this post a while ago. I think this was during the time where I was in the "I'm so cool and unique, liking K-pop but simultaneously bashing it. I wonder if anyone will ever know true maturity and literature grace like me? I'm so radical, pulling away from liking K-pop. Better get on my level, nubfegs."
But still, that's an exaggeration. Creepy fans are still creepy.

Once you become exposed to an industry that is largely superficial (in particular, the music and film industry), you start to notice fans that take it too far. There are many names for fans like this, including various sub-fan types. However in general, they're called "fangirls" or "fanboys". They indulge in obsessive stalker-esque behaviour, including but not limited to, literally falling in love with the target of fandom, non-stop praising the targeted fandom regardless of its faults, finding out where the target lives (if it's a person) and subscribing to 5+ fanwebsites including (but not limited to) twitter, Facebook, official fansite, unofficial fansites. This might not sound like much, but you have to see it to believe it (putting it colloquially). They type in ALL CAPS and scream about their favourite artist (music industry). Variations of this are in existance, for example: no caps, no punctuation, porr speiling, grammar bad,


And that is where I ended. I never got around to finishing this and the thoughts and feelings illustrated here are from a slightly different person. Y'know, time ages you like cheese and wine until you're a certain age. Then you age like bad wine and turn to vinegar. Thanks Uncle Marcellus.

Journal

I recently watched "Watchmen" by Zach Snyder and I figured it was probably a nice time to get back to writing my journal that I started in 2010. This was undoubtedly influenced by Rorschach's journal. Looking back at my initial enthusiastic entries which were each about a page long, I am not surprised that I gave up writing an almost daily essay. This time, I've been writing short entries like the ones in Rorschach's. I think I'll use some of them as blog entries too.

The humour of a 12 year old

I remember when I was twelve like it was yesterday. Wait...no...make that a few weeks. Yeah, a few weeks ago. It seems only very recently that I was twelve years of age. At the time, I was just discovering the internet; I was doing so by joining various forums and burning out my pent up youth energy by posting like a madman who had 'nothing to lose'. I was never much of a popular kid at school so I kind of found a sort of refuge in the internet, a world where I was accepted...sort of. The great thing was that, due to the youth energy of a twelve year old, I found that I was able to endear myself to people that I met. I wasn't one of those nooblords playing CoD that taught people facts about their mothers while spamming the ACR-red dot-no scope-sniper elite-mega haxxor or whatever. I was one of those guys the was (probably, I can't really be sure) annoying in chatbox and made lots of posts (replying to everything, the instant it was updated, refreshing the homepage of the forum) and excelled in typing skills after having to survive in a world where touch typing was manditory for relative success.

Anyway, I just lost track of where I was heading because I just took a 40 minute writing break. I'll try to pick up where I left off. Oh yeah.

Something I found was that I was really good at writing. I scored pretty high at school in English class with essays and stuff without studying so I guess it either came from me reading a lot or trying to not look illiterate on the internet. Good at writing + youth energy of a 12 year old led to my (back then) humourous writing style that I found endeared myself to random 20+ year olds on the internet. I mean, I'm not sure myself what made it so funny. I guess it was the thinking of a 12 year old put into a cohesive medium that actually made some sense after all. I would post on a forum or a chatbox and people would have a great time lulzing at something that I didn't really understand.

This brings me to my point. Something I've noticed is that now (a few years later and a lot more life experience later) my writing is not nearly as humourous. It might be satirical and at best chuckle worthy, but not the same fun filled writing of my 12 year old self. So I wonder, why has it changed? Is it my loss of innocence through the years? Is it just that I've matured? Is it just part of aging? Or maybe the youthful energy of a 12 year old is simply filled with naivety that draws people away from the pressures of adult life; similar to how the aging and the elderly enjoy the prescence of children.

I'm not sure what was in my mind as I typed away at 12 years of age. I would just write the first thing in my mind, almost without a second thought. People seems to legit enjoy chatting with me or enjoy my totally awesome forum posts and I felt this really good "lively" vibe in every one of my writings; it was usually humourous and exciting. Occasionally, people would compliment me for my writing or somesuch (no, they didn't know I was 12. I guess I sounded like a foreigner?) and express how they had lulz'd about what I wrote for a bit before moving on with their mundane lives. Do all adults enjoy the feeling of youth energy? The feeling of being young again is rather nice I suppose. I don't really know since I haven't even hit 20 yet. I'm just speculating that everyone would like to be young again (provided that their childhood was enjoyable) and have a carefree existance. Who wants to pay taxes, worry about finance and future investments, think about establishing a successful life? Who wouldn't want to sit down and enjoy their time with friends and have everything done for them? I'm not saying this in the way that everyone should just ditch everything and become hobos; responsibility is part of life after all.

These days, though, I don't post half as much as I used to on forums. I hardly go on chatboxes (something I used to be really proud of). My writing, as I mentioned earlier, is more mature but also less lively. It's not really 'driving' interesting in my opinion. The humour is not as active as it used to be. The youth energy of a 12 year old has long passed.

This is what I wonder about, what made the 12 year old me so different from who I am now? Is it what I've experienced in life since then? I know for sure the 12 year old's naivety has left, replaced with a 15 year old's  naivety. I'm not sure how things have changed, but I know that they've changed for sure.



P.S. I know I restated things a few times. Call me Obama or something. I learned somewhere that restating things in a speech (I didn't do it intentionally here though) is an excellent way of making points stick.

P.P.S This post was powered by "How far we've come" on repeat

The feeling of attraction is mildy annoying...

I know for a fact that I'll sound really gay, abnormal and "why...would you even" to most guys (I don't know about girls, they seem to be more emotion based), but I'm going to talk about an annoying thing with...attraction.
As a starter, I'm a pubescent male that's currently going through, as you might have guessed, puberty. I've actually never had a girlfriend for a multitude of reasons. On of with is I simply can't be bothered. I have better things to do than indulge in talking to a female that I find important. Study > female relations. It's harder to learn when you're older anyway. This'll make some of my information seem lacking in credentials, but remember, I'm just talking about my experience, not whatever sk8terladd291YOLO24123one thinks is swag bra.

Sometimes when I'm browsing around the internet (or in real life, but more often on the interwebs, as all the stuff is packed into the form of a electronic signal displayed on a 15inch LCD), I'll see a picture. It's not a normal picture either. It's a picture of a rather pretty lady. Not sexy, not cute (referring to my first post on attraction), but pretty. Somewhere around lvl 2-3; so like...maybe...~2.5? I'm not going to give an example picture of this because "it'll make you [me] seem really sad...". But you probably get the point.

So I see a pretty picture. All of a sudden, overwhelming feelings of sadness and loneliness well in my heart. I suddenly feeling like going out into the world and finding a girlfriend. Not in the sense that "woah, bro, I need to have a quickie" but like "I require a strong companion relationship with a female". 
I think I read something like this in one of the Tales of the Otori books (by Lian Hearn, a fictional period book. Not the biological period, you sick bastard. The era type.). There was a quote made by a female character regarding how men react to her beauty and the beauty of the major female character (who is meant to be really beautiful). I don't remember the exact quote, but the idea was something like "When men see me, they lust and wish to sleep with me. When men see [her], they weep for they can not hope of ever reaching her." I guess kinda like "GOML" (internet) or "She's out of your league." (Real life)

You could say that I'm experiencing the same thing as those weeping guys. I'm not the type of guy that gives out a manly grunt of "YEEAAHHH!" while simultaneously thrusting the air when I see an attractive woman. I'm delicate about this sort of thing. I'm...hmm...cultured? I don't know. I'm sure many women can look at this post and be like "wow...creep". But hey, it's my honest opinion. Who's going to sue me for it? *Maybe China if I was in China*

Yeah so...feelings of loneliness and needing companionship. Maybe I just need someone to talk to? In any case, these frustrated feelings die out after a few minutes. On with life!

About writing in blogs

The way I like to write my blog is to write whatever I like, kinda like a diary, and the post it. I find this more relieving than writing in a real diary because for one, I'm typing it, and the other thing is that it's on the internet. This makes me feel like people are paying attention, regardless of how many views and comments I actually receive.
Some people write about games and have game review blogs or movie review blogs or even K-pop devotion blogs that host countless number of illegal files from their favorite artists. I find that writing about random ideas that come into my mind is rather satisfying. I like typing as well.

Friendships - breaking point

I'm not sure if this happens to everyone, but there's a point in your friendship (with a friend, obvs) that you get to where things aren't like they used to be. Not in the "you know what I mean way." I've never had a girlfriend, but I imagine that things are kinda like this when you're about to "break up" (of course, I have no experience, so don't take me seriously here).
Basically, after we came back from camp, me and my friend started talking a bit less and stuff like that. I'm a bit of a sensitive, so I noticed this really easily. I kinda felt like "things aren't going that well". Of course, I didn't say this, it's not like we're married or something, but I started to figure some stuff out. E.G, the clingier you get in your relationship, the faster and harder it will fall. I find that this happens in a variety of situations. For example, in China, religion is governed very strictly and being religious puts you out of favour of the government. However, the growth of religion in China (by percentage) is much larger than the growth of religion in countries that don't have such restrictions.  The Chinese government tries to hold religion in a tighter fist, but it slips from their grasp and grows.
I basically figured out that I was becoming a really clingy friend that doesn't lay off peoples backs (think of the girlfriend meme). So I just decided to go back to my old thought process of doing whatever the hell I wanted and putting less consideration into other people stuff. Not in a bad way, I mean like, stop asking how they are or how their dinner was etc. What I basically used to do was lord over all of my friends and act kinda like the alpha male. I thought I was being too controlling, but after this, I've figured out that male friendship groups require that one douchy, mildly loud alpha male that dominates conversations to run smoothly. In the good way, of course.

On holiday

It's a weird feeling being on holiday. All of a sudden, I have nothing to do for the next two weeks. Most people are like "HUZZAH!!" and all, but I've got nothing really to look forward to. My first holiday impression was dampened after being told I'll get dropped from my scholarship if I don't pick up my school grades by the school headmaster. I know it's true, but I feel terrible about it. I'm going to try study a lot and learn new things this holiday but I can't shake the feeling that it won't work or something.
I also have this really big assignment over the holidays that I almost have no idea on how to start on.
I just got back from watching The Hunger Games (yes, I've read the books ages ago. I'm not jumping on the band-wagon) and I'm still kinda out of reality. When I watch movies, I get really into them. If I liked it, I can't stop thinking about it for a few days and I pretty much obsess over it. It's kinda annoying.

Finally, I'm not sure why, but I've got a sudden urge to listen to 'Oh!' by SNSD...

Alot of things on my mind

I got a lot of things on my mind that I want to write on here. I'll do them later.

End of school term

YEAHHH!!!! ONEWEEKTOGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Turns out the space bar doesn't work when you hold down shift.

Maths test

I have a maths test tomorrow that I missed out on a lesson for. So since I don't know this one formula, I'm certainly going to be screwed for this one question. The only reference I have is this hastily scribbled notes I got from a friend. To be honest, I can't even really understand them.

Phoney Kony 2012

If you've seen the Kony 2012 video by InvisibleChildren Inc. then I suggest that you watch this following video. I'm not going to say whether I agree or disagree with it, I'm just saying that he has some interesting points.

Homework

I actually have so much homework.

Uhhhggg...

I was in a rush this morning trying to get my homework done for school. This meant that I wasn't able to eat a delicious bowl of noodles. Instead, my mum thought it would be suitable for me to drink some natural smoothie thing/protein shake that wasn't properly blended. It had a really strong off chocolate flavour and really thick and lumpy. Uhhgg...I had to drink it so fast. I feel so sick.

That's awkward

So many of the blog views are from random advertising sights and Russia....
I don't understand.

SSP: Dragon Age "speed art" photomontage

Just your average shameless self promotion. This was my first time using Photoshop. I needed a wallpaper.

Beats

It seems that Beats by Dre. are a really popular brand of headphones. Everyone raves about how awesome they are and then get fakes from Hong Kong because real ones are overpriced. I've heard the sound quality of real ones and they're not that great. Perhaps the only model that lives up to expectations are the Studio Beats. Everything else sounds the same as $60 headphones you could get from JB-HIFI. To be honest Bose and Sennheiser provide a better quality sound, but only half the glamour of your average Beats. I'm not sure if the same can be said for the rest of the Monster produced headphones (Beats are manufactured by Monster) but I'd rather not waste my $200+ dollars on testing it out.
ka-ching!

That's quite amusing

I used to run this other blog with some friends of mine. It's still up, but don't look at it; it's crap.
ANYWAY the funny thing is, that blog gets about 150 views a month by not doing anything. That's because at the time, me and my friends put in lots of keywords such as "ipod review", "FIFA", "ASCII art" and stuff like that. Oh yeah, it's also got that stupid smiley face thing. I'll post it here.

Now I'm going to get about 20 more views a month

You won't believe how many people look for this image. It's pretty good, my old blog seems to have developed self-awareness and is actively pulling in views by its self.

Annoying feeling

I've got the feeling that I should be doing something progressive (it's the weekend, and I like improving over the weekends) but I can't figure out what it is I'm meant to be doing. I have some school stuff due next week but I don't know if I'm meant to be working on it. Maybe it's because I don't want to leave the computer, I'm not sure. I've also got some personal goals that I set for myself. I know that if I don't work on them, I'll consider this weekend a failure and then regret wasting all this time when Monday comes around. I'm not sure whether I should work on this instinct or not but I'm pretty sure I'm just being indecisive or lazy. I think I have some study to do, but I just revised my maths to a month ago. Maybe I should do it again, just to be sure. Or maybe I could go and work on the piano. I don't know. I think when people know that they have something they need to do, they chose not to do it and instead try to find something else to do. The exact reason for this I'm not quite sure, but I'm pretty certain it's got something to do with human nature.

APM

oh lol 102 average APM in BW