Not trying to be a domestic war journalist or something, but in this last hour all my farts have had a really peculiar smell. Like, it's something I can't quite describe. You know how normal fart smell like egg or something? Well my farts were something akin to egg that had been bleached and then soaked in kerosene. Actually, to be more precise it smells like something that hasn't been invented yet. Perhaps a smell that God didn't quite figure out when he was crafting us out of the vast emptiness. I better get a Nobel Peace Prize for solving any future conflicts about this smell.
This made perfect sense.