Thursday, September 27, 2012

The humour of a 12 year old

I remember when I was twelve like it was yesterday. Wait...no...make that a few weeks. Yeah, a few weeks ago. It seems only very recently that I was twelve years of age. At the time, I was just discovering the internet; I was doing so by joining various forums and burning out my pent up youth energy by posting like a madman who had 'nothing to lose'. I was never much of a popular kid at school so I kind of found a sort of refuge in the internet, a world where I was accepted...sort of. The great thing was that, due to the youth energy of a twelve year old, I found that I was able to endear myself to people that I met. I wasn't one of those nooblords playing CoD that taught people facts about their mothers while spamming the ACR-red dot-no scope-sniper elite-mega haxxor or whatever. I was one of those guys the was (probably, I can't really be sure) annoying in chatbox and made lots of posts (replying to everything, the instant it was updated, refreshing the homepage of the forum) and excelled in typing skills after having to survive in a world where touch typing was manditory for relative success.

Anyway, I just lost track of where I was heading because I just took a 40 minute writing break. I'll try to pick up where I left off. Oh yeah.

Something I found was that I was really good at writing. I scored pretty high at school in English class with essays and stuff without studying so I guess it either came from me reading a lot or trying to not look illiterate on the internet. Good at writing + youth energy of a 12 year old led to my (back then) humourous writing style that I found endeared myself to random 20+ year olds on the internet. I mean, I'm not sure myself what made it so funny. I guess it was the thinking of a 12 year old put into a cohesive medium that actually made some sense after all. I would post on a forum or a chatbox and people would have a great time lulzing at something that I didn't really understand.

This brings me to my point. Something I've noticed is that now (a few years later and a lot more life experience later) my writing is not nearly as humourous. It might be satirical and at best chuckle worthy, but not the same fun filled writing of my 12 year old self. So I wonder, why has it changed? Is it my loss of innocence through the years? Is it just that I've matured? Is it just part of aging? Or maybe the youthful energy of a 12 year old is simply filled with naivety that draws people away from the pressures of adult life; similar to how the aging and the elderly enjoy the prescence of children.

I'm not sure what was in my mind as I typed away at 12 years of age. I would just write the first thing in my mind, almost without a second thought. People seems to legit enjoy chatting with me or enjoy my totally awesome forum posts and I felt this really good "lively" vibe in every one of my writings; it was usually humourous and exciting. Occasionally, people would compliment me for my writing or somesuch (no, they didn't know I was 12. I guess I sounded like a foreigner?) and express how they had lulz'd about what I wrote for a bit before moving on with their mundane lives. Do all adults enjoy the feeling of youth energy? The feeling of being young again is rather nice I suppose. I don't really know since I haven't even hit 20 yet. I'm just speculating that everyone would like to be young again (provided that their childhood was enjoyable) and have a carefree existance. Who wants to pay taxes, worry about finance and future investments, think about establishing a successful life? Who wouldn't want to sit down and enjoy their time with friends and have everything done for them? I'm not saying this in the way that everyone should just ditch everything and become hobos; responsibility is part of life after all.

These days, though, I don't post half as much as I used to on forums. I hardly go on chatboxes (something I used to be really proud of). My writing, as I mentioned earlier, is more mature but also less lively. It's not really 'driving' interesting in my opinion. The humour is not as active as it used to be. The youth energy of a 12 year old has long passed.

This is what I wonder about, what made the 12 year old me so different from who I am now? Is it what I've experienced in life since then? I know for sure the 12 year old's naivety has left, replaced with a 15 year old's  naivety. I'm not sure how things have changed, but I know that they've changed for sure.



P.S. I know I restated things a few times. Call me Obama or something. I learned somewhere that restating things in a speech (I didn't do it intentionally here though) is an excellent way of making points stick.

P.P.S This post was powered by "How far we've come" on repeat

Sunday, September 2, 2012

The feeling of attraction is mildy annoying...

I know for a fact that I'll sound really gay, abnormal and "why...would you even" to most guys (I don't know about girls, they seem to be more emotion based), but I'm going to talk about an annoying thing with...attraction.
As a starter, I'm a pubescent male that's currently going through, as you might have guessed, puberty. I've actually never had a girlfriend for a multitude of reasons. On of with is I simply can't be bothered. I have better things to do than indulge in talking to a female that I find important. Study > female relations. It's harder to learn when you're older anyway. This'll make some of my information seem lacking in credentials, but remember, I'm just talking about my experience, not whatever sk8terladd291YOLO24123one thinks is swag bra.

Sometimes when I'm browsing around the internet (or in real life, but more often on the interwebs, as all the stuff is packed into the form of a electronic signal displayed on a 15inch LCD), I'll see a picture. It's not a normal picture either. It's a picture of a rather pretty lady. Not sexy, not cute (referring to my first post on attraction), but pretty. Somewhere around lvl 2-3; so like...maybe...~2.5? I'm not going to give an example picture of this because "it'll make you [me] seem really sad...". But you probably get the point.

So I see a pretty picture. All of a sudden, overwhelming feelings of sadness and loneliness well in my heart. I suddenly feeling like going out into the world and finding a girlfriend. Not in the sense that "woah, bro, I need to have a quickie" but like "I require a strong companion relationship with a female". 
I think I read something like this in one of the Tales of the Otori books (by Lian Hearn, a fictional period book. Not the biological period, you sick bastard. The era type.). There was a quote made by a female character regarding how men react to her beauty and the beauty of the major female character (who is meant to be really beautiful). I don't remember the exact quote, but the idea was something like "When men see me, they lust and wish to sleep with me. When men see [her], they weep for they can not hope of ever reaching her." I guess kinda like "GOML" (internet) or "She's out of your league." (Real life)

You could say that I'm experiencing the same thing as those weeping guys. I'm not the type of guy that gives out a manly grunt of "YEEAAHHH!" while simultaneously thrusting the air when I see an attractive woman. I'm delicate about this sort of thing. I'm...hmm...cultured? I don't know. I'm sure many women can look at this post and be like "wow...creep". But hey, it's my honest opinion. Who's going to sue me for it? *Maybe China if I was in China*

Yeah so...feelings of loneliness and needing companionship. Maybe I just need someone to talk to? In any case, these frustrated feelings die out after a few minutes. On with life!